Indy News Channel

Follow Up Commentary

A recent article in our South Bend Tribune, discussing the effects of foster homes on our youth. This is coupled with a current PBS Series: Aging Out.

A follow up comment to the Tribune Article by Lynn Butts:

"Being a foster child...period...puts you in a different category. You have nothing that belongs to you basically and you are thrown into a home that you have to adjust to them on top of what you are going through and still maintain at school and keep your grades up, etc. I was fortunate to have a foster family that allowed me to stay past my graduation as I was still 17 years old and the first foster child in their home to graduate school. I also decided once I turned 18 that I would help out at the foster home by doing my share and continuing to work. I was blessed. 

But I know for sure that foster care can be a job to some but for many they grow attached to the children and will do what they can to see that child succeed. But where was money coming from for me to get on my own, I had a job. I also had goals and dreams I never let go of. Being a foster child is not easy at all. I came with emotional and physical damage. I came with tons and tons and tons of tears. I came with not knowing if I will ever get to see my mom and dad again even though they did not like me or love me. I did not ask to be born but god is in control.

I agree there needs to be a person in place for foster children from the time they graduate to the time they are 21 or 22 simply because you can be alone. As our schools strive to have mentors, our foster children need mentors just as much. We need to know that someone believes in US, that we are worthy and are loved. I have seen so much in foster homes and along the way you are just a case number in some cases. I know I was, I slept on a air mattress in a room with a divider (in a first foster home I was in) and had nothing I could say was my own. I wanted to stay away from everyone, wondering what I had did that was so bad to deserve getting hit and emotionally put down. 

I was a child!!! It hurts. I pray that I can make a difference one day for many foster children. I have been there done that and I know I will be a different mother and or mentor to children in need then those parents who have never experienced what it is like to be a foster child, thrown around in the system as though you did not matter. Life is already hard. And here is the kicker folks, I was adopted at birth and then I was in foster care. Talk about rejection, I had it majorly. I will just continue to pray. Just know that not all foster parents think of foster children as cases, there are some foster parents that do really care. Then there are some that don't and need to not be foster parents. My foster mom passed away in 1990 and to this day I mourn her death as she stuck by me through thick and thin. She believed in me."